I Saw Three Ships Come Sailing In: Johnlock
by TakingItOutOnTheWall
Summary: Sherlock is being a nightmare and John doesn't want Christmas ruined. Sherlock contaminates the turkey, John worries and Sherlock knows more than John thinks he does. Christmas Johnlock oneshot.


**Merry Christmas! :) I wrote this as a Christmas present for my friend Flo and when coming up with ideas was inspired by the song I Saw Three Ships Come Sailing In to write three fics for three different ships from three different fandoms. I uploaded one yesterday and the other just now. I had meant to upload these last two yesterday but I couldn't login. The three fics are entirely unrelated except that they are all Christmasy so you can read any of them and in any order. Or you could just read this one. It doesn't matter. Anyway, hope you had a great Christmas and a have a very happy New Year and I hope you enjoy the story.**

**PS I'm also writing a multichapter Johnlock fic which is what I should really be working on and although I haven't updated in a while I do intend to do that very soon so feel free to check that out.**

**Disclaimer: Sherlock does not belong to me. He belongs to John.**

* * *

"What's that?" Sherlock asked, scowling at the big, sparkly mess in the middle of the living room floor.  
"Christmas decorations!" John replied cheerfully.  
"Yes, but what are they doing on the floor?"  
"Well they had to go somewhere."  
"I hope you aren't planning on leaving there. It would be most inconvenient."  
"Of course I'm not leaving them there." John answered, obviously irritated. "Besides, you leave more stuff on the floor than I do. I don't remember you finding the chaos that was left after you blew up that tree 'inconvenient'."

Sherlock sighed exasperatedly at John's ignorance. "That was an experiment!" He explained.  
"Yes, well could you try less destructive experiments now?" John retorted. "At least until Christmas is over. 'On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me an exploding pear tree' doesn't have quite the same ring to it as 'partridge in a pear tree'."  
"True love?"  
"Flatmate!" John corrected himself quickly. "I meant flatmate!"

Sherlock gazed at John for a minute then looked away as though nothing had happened.

John relaxed as soon as Sherlock looked away. _That was close._ He thought to himself. John often wondered how it was that Sherlock still hadn't noticed that he was in love with him. Just about everyone else seemed to notice but not Sherlock. He always talked about how people didn't 'observe' anything but he was, apparently, the only person who didn't realise that John loved him. And John would like it to stay that way.

**xXx**

_Why does he have to keep denying it?_ Sherlock wondered, not for the first time. _Why can't he just tell me how he feels?_ Of course Sherlock knew that John's feelings for him weren't entirely platonic. Far from it in fact, if the way he stared at Sherlock when he thought he wasn't looking was anything to go by. Sherlock had known for some time that John was in love with him but he didn't know what to do about it. He wasn't good with feelings and it had taken him longer than he would like to admit to realise that he loved his blogger. Sherlock could read other people's feelings very easily most of the time and he knew how to manipulate them to his advantage but he had never been able to understand them properly and his own emotions posed the biggest problem of all so knowing how to act on his feelings was a nightmare for the detective. He knew what he wanted (John) but had no idea of how he could communicate that to John sincerely. So Sherlock just waited for him to work it out. Which was taking far too long.

Sherlock had tried very hard to make it clear to John that he was interested in him but it wasn't working. Sherlock loved everything about John and wouldn't want him to change but sometimes he wished he would observe more. Just enough for him to deduce Sherlock's feelings. Was it really so hard? He had attempted to tell John how he felt before but he found it difficult to get the words out. Just three little words but he couldn't say them no matter how much he knew he did truly feel that way about his friend. He supposed that a lifetime of suppressing his feelings and pushing everyone away made it hard for him to be honest about this.

"Sherlock!" John called up the stairs. "Where's the turkey?"

_Oh, they've noticed it's gone._ Sherlock thought. "Why are you asking me?" The detective answered doing his best to appear innocent. He was certain that John would not be happy if he knew what had really happened to the turkey.

"Because you're probably the one responsible for its disappearance." John replied, obviously not taken in by Sherlock's pretence at being innocent. "What did you do with it?"  
"Nothing." Sherlock denied. John gave him a sceptical look and the detective could clearly read his blogger's impatience in his expression.  
"Really, Sherlock?"

He was silent for a minute, avoiding John's accusing gaze, but quickly decided there was no point in feigning ignorance.

"Fine. I may have had something to do with it." Sherlock admitted reluctantly.  
"What did you do, Sherlock?" John sighed in irritation.  
"It was an experiment."  
"Of course it was." The blogger replied. "I don't suppose it was an experiment in cooking where you decided to prepare the whole Christmas dinner?"

Sherlock frowned at John. "Why would I do that? There's nothing interesting I could learn from it."  
"No, really?" John asked sarcastically. "Just tell me what you did with it. We'll probably have to get another one anyway since I doubt it's still edible."  
"No, it is definitely not fit for human consumption." Sherlock agreed. "I was using it to grow various types of human pathogens. I would not advise eating it. Although it could be quite interesting to observe the effects that would have."  
"You are not feeding contaminated turkey to anyone!"  
"Maybe Anderson..."  
"No, Sherlock! Absolutely not! I don't care how much of an idiot you think he is, I'm not letting you feed him contaminated turkey!" John insisted.

Sherlock sighed in defeat. "I suppose that might not be the best plan although it would decrease the surplus population of idiots."  
"Alright, Scrooge."

Sherlock groaned, unamused by John's comment.

"Anyway, we need to get another turkey now." John said, returning to the main problem.  
"There can't be many left now with Christmas tomorrow." Sherlock replied. "Good luck finding one."

John gave him a sceptical look. "I'm not going to have a problem."  
"Oh?" Sherlock sounded confused. "You're that confidant in finding one."  
"Oh no." John corrected. "I'm not going to have a problem because you're going to get it."

"What?!" Sherlock sounded horrified. "I'm not going out shopping." He said the word like it was the most horrible thing he could think of.  
"Yes, you are."  
"Why?"

John rolled his eyes at the stupidity of the genius. "Because it was you who contaminated the turkey. So you can buy a new one."  
"I'm not going to do it."  
"Yes, you are." John held his friend's determined gaze. There was a look in his eyes that said 'don't mess with me, I was a soldier' and Sherlock would have had to be a complete moron to not be able to see it.

Sherlock pouted at him stubbornly. There was a silent battle of wills between them that Sherlock realised he could never win but he wasn't going to give up without trying.

"Fine!" Sherlock huffed eventually. "I'll go and get your stupid turkey!" He stood up and stormed out of the flat leaving John alone.

**xXx**

John started to worry when he realised that Sherlock, in his rush to leave, had forgotten to take his coat. Sherlock had already been gone for half an hour by that point so John knew that he must have noticed that he didn't have it but been too stubborn to come back until he had a turkey.

And then it started to rain. Which was when John got really worried. Especially when Sherlock still wasn't back after another hour. _He's probably found somewhere dry to hide from the rain._ John told himself, but that didn't make him any less concerned.

Three hours after he'd left, Sherlock still wasn't back and the rain was falling heavily. John was starting to panic now. Various scenarios were running through his head. Sherlock being hit by a car and now unconscious in some hospital. Sherlock getting mugged and lying bleeding in a dark deserted alley. Sherlock having been kidnapped and tied up somewhere to be tortured. John tried to calm himself down but he apparently had a very overactive imagination when it came to worrying about his friend.

After four hours John was starting to think he should call Mycroft to see if he knew where his brother was. Surely four hours was far too long to be searching for a turkey even if it was Christmas Eve. John actually had his phone in his hand with Mycroft's number up and ready to call when he finally heard the sound of the door opening.

"John!" Mrs Hudson yelled up the stairs. "I don't think Sherlock should have gone out without his coat."

John was instantly out of his seat and rushing down the stairs to see what state Sherlock was in. Reaching the bottom of the stairs he came face to face with his friend and by the looks of things he hadn't found anywhere to hide from the rain.

Sherlock was completely soaked. His clothes were drenched and dripping on the floor. He was shivering uncontrollably and leaning heavily on Mrs Hudson, clutching a turkey. John immediately felt guilty for sending him out to buy a turkey.

"Ok, come here Sherlock." John said, reaching out to take his friend's weight since he knew he was better able to hold him than their landlady was. "We need to get you warm as quickly as possible or you may end up with hypothermia."  
"Got the turkey." Sherlock managed to reply through chattering teeth.  
"Yes, great Sherlock." John answered. "But couldn't you have stayed inside when it started raining?"  
"Had to find the turkey."  
"Bloody hell!" John exclaimed. "I didn't tell you to freeze to death trying to find one! Why didn't you give up sooner?"  
"Found one two hours ago."  
"Then for God's sake why didn't you come home?"  
"Halfway across London. None of the cabs would take me when I was completely drenched."  
"Couldn't you have taken the tube?"  
"Hate the tube."  
"A bus?"  
"Buses are boring."

John stared at him in disbelief. "You mean you'd rather get hypothermia than use public transport!"

Sherlock started to stutter a response but Mrs Hudson interrupted him by voicing her opinion that it would be a good idea to get Sherlock out of his wet clothes and worry about his apparently very deep hatred of public transport later.

**xXx**

After having practically carried Sherlock up to their flat John had been forced to undress his friend himself when it quickly became clear that he was incapable of doing so himself. John had then swiftly shoved Sherlock into the shower to warm up and found some warm clothes for him to wear. By this point Sherlock wasn't shivering quite so violently but John still forced his friend to lie down on the sofa with a thick blanket whilst he made sure to keep the fire burning. Sherlock had denied being hungry but when the detective admitted that he hadn't eaten in three days John had no qualms about practically force-feeding him.

"You don't have to do this John." Sherlock said, still feeling the cold but no longer shivering uncontrollably.  
"Yeah, and what sort of doctor would that make me if I didn't?" John replied. "No, forget that. What sort of _friend_ would that make me?"

Sherlock looked up at John curiously, studying him carefully. "You feel guilty." Sherlock stated. Although he was confidant about the statement his tone of voice betrayed his surprise. "Why do you feel guilty? This isn't your fault."  
"I was the one who made you go searching for a turkey."  
"We only needed one because I experimented on the last one."

John stared at his friend in astonishment. "Who are you and what have you done with Sherlock?" He joked.

The detective scowled back at John, turning away to sulk. _That's not fair. I can be understanding if I like._ He said to himself. He was feeling particularly miserable right now although he was definitely feeling warmer and, as much as he hated to admit it, eating _had_ helped. However, he was hurt that John didn't seem to think he could want him to feel better. Sherlock didn't like it when John felt bad. He could completely infuriate his blogger without feeling any remorse but when John really felt bad about something Sherlock couldn't stand it. This was why love was dangerous. It had been much easier when all he cared about was his work.

"I'm sorry, Sherlock." John said. "It's just that you never try to understand feelings. You just ignore them or manipulate them."  
"Is that really what you think, John?" Sherlock asked, feeling offended. "You think I just ignore everyone's feelings."  
"Sherlock."  
"It would be easier for me if I just ignored _feelings_." The detective interrupted angrily. "If I'd just ignored it when I became aware of your feelings towards me then I probably wouldn't have realised that I love you and life would be much easier for me right now."

John stared at his friend looking shocked. "Did you just say that you love me?"  
"Oh." Sherlock suddenly realising what he'd said. "I suppose I did. I've been trying to tell you that for months now."  
"Sherlock, do you actually mean that?" John asked.

Sherlock nodded in confirmation, not quite believing that he had actually managed to get it out after so long. But all thoughts were soon pushed from his head as John kissed him. All thoughts except the happy realisation that he had got what he really wanted for Christmas.

* * *

**Please review. I'm not a mind reader and I'd like to get opinions on this :)**


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